Sunday, May 15, 2011

Do not go gentle into that good night...

Obsessions are pretty commonplace around here.  We've been crazy about Tinkerbell, fire trucks, dinosaurs, princesses, Woody and Buzz, puppies, and Spiderman.  The new obsession chez Wells is death.  Lottie talks about death constantly.  All.  The.  Time.

It all seemed to start around Easter.  There was a lot of talk about Jesus on the cross and the holes in his hands that had "bleeds" on them.  The talk gradually turned to Heaven and dying.  Lottie asks a lot of questions about when Judy is going to die, if she'll go to Heaven, and if we'll ever see her again.  She even asked Trevor  if we could put Judy in a box when she died so we could keep her forever.  (Cue _Psycho_ music.)  She worries about whether or not Lamby, her beloved stuffed animal, will be in Heaven with her.  When I settled down to read a bedtime story to her on Mother's Day, she cried and said she didn't want me to die because she would never see me again.  I have reassured her time and time again that I won't die for a long, long time, and that I firmly believe that everyone we love will be waiting for us in Heaven.

I know it's just a phase; she's trying to puzzle out in her brain exactly what it means to be dead.  It makes me a little sad, though, to know that she has these thoughts running around her sweet little mind.  Sometimes I swear I can feel my heart breaking into bits.  Such is the life of a mom.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry, friend. That's so hard. I've been dealing with the same sort of thing with Frankie lately. She constantly asks me when I'm going to die, and often the last words she says before she goes to sleep are, "Mommy.... please....don't...die...."

    It's weird and heartbreaking.