Monday, January 19, 2015


Quick update: T had his fourth chemo treatment this past Wednesday.  Thankfully, things are continuing to go well.  The nausea is very mild compared to what it was after the first treatment, and other than fatigue, he has been feeling okay.  We honestly don't know if he is going to have eight or nine treatments.  We're both going with nine so we can be pleasantly surprised if it turns out to be eight.

That in and of itself is enough to be happy about.  You might remember that I promised myself to find something boss about every day this year.  So far, so good.  I decided that you all probably didn't want to read about every single boss thing I discovered, so I'll pick out the bossest (bosstastic? bossaroni?) tidbits for the blog.

T and I don't get a lot of quality time alone together .  All parents of young kids know how that goes, but we also add chemo fatigue into that equation.  There are many times T goes to bed when the kids do, and I'm the only one awake in the 9's.  However, we're lucky because T works from home (BOSS) and we can spend some time together during the day.  Earlier this week, we had lunch together and settled in to watch a TV show while we ate.  When T was doing his first round of chemoradiation in the summer, he discovered that he could occasionally find Fantasy Island on one of the squadzillion cable channels we seem to get.  Talk about boss.  Fantasy Island reminds me of being a kid and watching the Love Boat/Fantasy Island combo every week.  It's deliciously cheesy and requires absolutely no rational thought.  I mean, who doesn't need an escape from reality every now and again?  And one word: Montalb├ín.


So we started watching an episode where two kids wanted to get their parents back together after a divorce.  The two scamps lock their parents in a barn together all night in the rain to give them time to be alone and realize they still love one another.  If it sounds suspiciously like Parent Trap, it was, and it also starred Juliet Mills.  Ah, the Seventies.  The other part of the episode involved a woman, amnesia, a dead dog's grave, and voodoo.  The amnesiac was played by Lauren Tewes, Julie from Love Boat.  SO boss!  The rest of that storyline was pretty weird but brilliant in a Fantasy Island sort of way.  Two very different stories in one episode, and the two stories had very different weather in each.  On one side of the island, the voodoo practitioners lived in a sultry, tropical environment.  On the other side of the island, the kids sat beside a campfire with their parents, all shivering from the cold.

T: "That doesn't even make any sense.  How can it be tropical on the island at the same time the kids and their parents are freezing?"
Me:"It's a TV show."
T: "I know that, but wouldn't the weather be the same throughout the island?"
Me: "Babe, it's FANTASY Island.  Roarke can make anything happen."

This may seem like a ridiculous exchange to you, or if you're in a particularly harsh mood, simply stupid.  To me, the whole thing was boss because it was so completely normal for us.  Different people want different things out of life.  Some want action and excitement; some want romance and passion; some want travel and adventure.  Me?  I want normal.  For us, normal is doing very mundane things and laughing the entire time.  Having a silly conversation about the weather patterns on a television island is our normal.  It's my safe haven.  It's proof to me that we're still boss, cancer be damned.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

2,920 days

The sweetest pea,

Today you are eight years old.  It feels like this is the age when you're not a big kid yet but you're not little anymore, either.  You're trying so hard to become independent, and I'm wishing you were still the little toddler with the cheeser smile. 

We have had quite a year, and you have handled everything so well.  I know that it's really hard on you to see Dad sick because all you want to do is take care of everyone.  I'm proud that you have talked to me and asked questions instead of holding everything inside.  What a difference a year has made with your level of understanding and maturity.  You still continue to mother everyone around you, especially Dallas.  It makes my heart so happy when you two protect each other.  Please watch out for him forever; he'll always need his big sister.

Dad and I couldn't be any prouder of how hard you have worked in school.  We both know that you would much rather be playing outside or doing something physical with your time.  Sitting down to do anything, let alone schoolwork, has never been your bag, baby.  This year, something clicked, though, and you are doing your best with your homework and with your work at school.  I still don't envision you ever having an office job, but I feel reassured to know that you will try your best at whatever you choose to do in the future.

One thing that hasn't changed over the past year is your beautiful heart.  You are truly the kindest person I know.  You hate to see anyone in any kind of pain, physical or emotional, and you always step in to make people feel better.  You would give away anything you had to comfort someone in need.  Never ever lose that sweet soul: we need more people like you in the world.

One thing I know for sure is that I never know what you're going to do next.  There is no pigeonholing my girl.   I love that you're a "girly" girl with pierced ears and tulle dresses who also loves to go crazy on the zipline in our backyard and literally roll around in the mud. You love summer and winter, playing with dolls and playing Star Wars, jumping into leaves and getting dressed up, listening to Katy Perry and listening for Santa, going to your first sleepover and cuddling at home with Daddy.  Our lives would be awfully quiet and boring without you.  

My wish for you is that you always have the spirit and spark that make you who you are.  There are going to be times you'll need to tame yourself a bit, but I hope that you never fully lose your zest and passion for life.  I want you to experience as much as you can because I know you're happiest when you are out doing and living.  

I see a hopeful future every time I look into your stunning blue eyes, and I thank you every day for reminding me about the wonderful and simple moments I might otherwise be missing.  I don't know what you'll be doing or where you'll end up as you grow; however, I have seen who you are in your soul.  You're going to shine, babe.  You will always shine.  

Oh, how I love you,

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Gonna live this year like a BOSS

I hate the news.  The news is depressing.  I understand that horrible and heartbreaking things happen every day all over the world, and I wish they didn't.  I wish everyone could be safe and fed and clothed and housed and loved.  And I know that the media has to report the news, all the news, but I feel like there are so many good things that are missed.

In an effort to find some peace or create some peace in my own world, I'm going to call 2015 the Year of the Boss.  I'm not referring to a work superior, but rather BOSS as in rad, sweet, fantastic, worthy, get my drift.  (If you watch New Girl, you know that Schmidt orders sushi like a boss.) Every day, I'm going to find something boss.   It may be something in my own life or just something good I read about or observed in the world at large.  I know that some days it will be ridiculously easy to find lots of boss things, but some days will be a challenge.  Luckily, I'm pretty awesome and ready to show the bad stuff who's boss.  (See what I did there?  Clever!  Right?  Right!)

Bad things happen in life, but that doesn't mean that good things don't happen, too.  Beautiful things can rise from the ashes of despair if we're ready to accept them.

Join me in finding your something boss every day this year!

Here's what I have so far:

January 1
I enjoyed a traditional southern New Year's lunch with my family.  T cooked everything, and it was delicious!  We also had our traditional New Year's book exchange, and I'm looking forward to reading my new book.

January 2
A very sweet and dear friend took the kids out for an adventure.  They saw a movie, went to Zao Island, then back to my friend's house to play.  My awesome dad had taken T to chemo, so I had the entire house to myself.   I honestly missed everyone, but it was nice to get some time to myself, too.  Grateful doesn't even begin to describe it.

January 3
We spent time with more friends at a birthday party at Bellaboo's.  The kids had a ball and played hard.  It's fantastic to have a play place where the kids can run free and have a good time without having to be watched every second.  Score!

January 4
It FINALLY snowed.  That in and of itself would be enough for me.  The sound of the neighborhood kids all playing outside bundled up in their snowsuits was music to my ears.

January 5
Check out this beautiful story about a young woman in England who found a way to repay some kindness shown to her.