5,110 days

 My boy,

Today you are 14 years old, and I could swear that just last week, you were only 4.

Each year, you continue to grow into an incredible young man. This year, especially, you're taking the growing part quite seriously. You're at 6'0" now, and I don't doubt that it will be too long before you're even with Dad. You're my go-to for putting away things in the kitchen that go on high shelves or for changing lightbulbs so I don't have to drag out a ladder. You're quite fond of patting me on the head after these chores and affectionately calling me your "low" mother. Most of your summer was spent eating and sleeping, and every time I have to crane my neck up to talk to you, I'm reminded of the hard work it takes for the teenaged body to grow strong and the brain to grown smart. 

Speaking of , you're still as smart as you have ever been. You have an incredible recall for things you have read or seen, even if it was only briefly. I love when you dole out trivia and tidbits about things that you know will interest me. Having a conversation with you is always fascinating because I never quite know the direction it will take. Just remember that intelligence is more than good grades, and don't let that be the only thing that defines you. 

I'm proud of the way you continue to try new things. Sometimes they don't suit you, and you're embracing that it's okay if you decide that an activity isn't for you. Dad and I are impressed with how you are teaching yourself to play guitar. I love when I'm in my bedroom at night and I can hear you practicing in the basement. I know that you're searching for your "thing," but I want you to remember that you're still young, and you have time to find your passion whether it be your career or something you like to do in your free time. It will find you when the time is right; have faith. 

Your sense of humor is one of my favorite things about you. It ranges from typical-middle-school-boy hilarity to very sharp and witty. Between you, Lottie, and Dad, I'm always laughing, even at times when I would rather not. Even though your humor is on point, it's never cruel, and I appreciate that. Life is hard enough without malice disguised as something that is supposed to be funny. 

I know it's not necessarily cool for a boy your age to be kind, but you are. You get frustrated like every other human on the planet, but to your very core, you are a gentle and sweet soul. I also know how difficult it can be to keep that part of yourself locked away for self-preservation, and that's why it means so much when you share that side of yourself with me. You make time for your friends when they need you even if you're not quite sure what to say. Even though we have come a long way as a society, vulnerability is still not a quality that is celebrated, especially for young men. I hope that you don't ever lose the kindness that is a huge part of who you are. And watching you love our crazy, demanding dogs reminds me that you are the animal whisperer of the family. Remember how the cats at the restaurant on Tybee Island were drawn to you? They can all sense that you have so much goodness inside you and not an ounce of harm. 

I'm incredibly proud to be your mom. My wish for you this year is to find your voice and your confidence: you have a lot to say and you deserve to be heard. Be bold and know what you have to share is important. Ask for help when you need it because that's a sign of strength, not weakness. No matter what, know you can always talk to me. 

You are my best boy, and you are so loved,

Mom 

5,110 days

 My love,

I can hardly believe that you arrived in my life fourteen years ago. It feels like not too long ago that you were holding my hand in parking lots, sitting on my lap to hear a book, and falling asleep in the car with your thumb firmly tucked in your mouth. So many things have happened in the blink of an eye. 

This last year has been something for you and for everyone.  From the very beginning of the pandemic, you missed out on a lot. The day you all were sent home from school, you were supposed to do a performance of the variety show that you never got to do. You missed dances, sports, time with friends, and extra-curricular activities. There were no summer camps, no sleepovers, no vacations, no watching fireworks with pals. I know that you missed all of the socializing, and maybe school a teeny bit, but you were mature throughout all of the uncertainty. You very rarely complained, and when you did, it was only to blow off steam. You have always understood that Dad and I have been trying to keep our family as safe as possible, and you haven't held it against us. You have accepted what needs to be done better than many adults I know. 

Speaking of Dad and me, I know we drive you absolutely bananas sometimes most of the time. (I also know that it's mostly Dad, but I'll throw myself under the bus, too, so he doesn't feel so bad.) Despite how annoying we must be, you're pretty good about listening and letting us do our thing. Yes, there are eye rolls and stomping and door slamming from time to time, but even your teenaged behavior isn't terrible. You still make us laugh so much that it's difficult to stay mad at you. I don't know how Dad and I were so lucky to get such funny kids, but we're grateful for it every day. 

I have watched you grow an incredible amount in the last year. Physically, you're taller than I am now, and you get a disturbing sense of joy in reminding me how "low" I am. You'll be getting your braces off very soon, and what could have been a painful process has been smooth with you. On the rare occasions that you were in pain, you bore it with strength and the knowledge that it wouldn't last too long. You're working hard at school, and it shows. You're also always trying to get better organized. I know it isn't really your thing, but I appreciate the effort. The growth that has astonished me, though, is your emotional growth. I love how many new things you have tried: cross country, basketball, and even running for and winning president of Builders Club! Once you decide you're gong to do something, it's done. You have learned to stand up for what you feel is right even when it's a difficult or unpopular thing to do. I have seen you do this for your friends and for people you don't even particularly like: you always root for the underdog and for what is morally right. You have realized that having toxic people in your life isn't worth the pain they cause, and good friends are worth their weight in gold. I love that you still tell me every detail of your day; well, maybe not every detail but most of them. Every time you tell us a story about something that happened at school or on a Zoom with your friends, I feel like I know you a little better. For someone your age, you're not judgmental at all. You accept everyone for who and what they are, no matter what. You're kind, compassionate, forgiving, caring, and fierce: I can't think of a better combination. 

Everyone says how hard it is to watch your kids grow up. It's certainly bittersweet, but I'm having the best time watching who you are becoming. Keep fighting the good fight, even when you're tired or scared, and know we will always be right behind you. Continue to laugh as much as you can and stay close to your broham. I know you all like each other more than you're willing to admit. He'll forever be in your corner, too, just as I know you'll be in his. 

You are everything I never knew I longed for and exactly what I always wanted.  I am so damn proud of you, and I hope you never forget it. 

Love you the mostest,

Mom