Alexander's got nothin' on me

Do you remember the book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?  I had that beat yesterday.  Oooh, buddy.

It was our first day back from Valpo, and everyone was tired.  But I needed to start Dallas on potty training because we're running out of time.  School starts in 24 days, and I need Dallas to be there.  NEED it.  So we started the morning with big boy underwear!  Woohoo!  Exciting, no?  Apparently for Dallas, no.  He refused to put the underwear on.  He wouldn't put it on until he thought I was crying.  (There is some deep-seated weirdness there that will put him in therapy in years to come.)  Once we got the underwear on, things went downhill.  He refused to even try to sit on the potty.  Not happening at all.  Even my fake-crying didn't sway him.  At one point, he even peed and pooped in his underwear and then stood there and finished reading his book.  So...yeah.  Obviously discomfort doesn't bother him.  He also wasn't really too interested in the treasure chest of rewards that I had all ready for him, either.  After numerous phone calls to my mom and real tears, I decided to just let it go and see what happened.  I felt so happy and free after that decision, and I was ready to tackle the grocery store, my coveted alone time.  I backed out of the garage, and I forgot that Trevor's car was there, too.  Smack. Crash.  Bang.  Dent.  I crumpled in his driver's side door and mashed up my taillight.  Neat.  I cried, the kids cried, and Trevor silently assessed the damage.  Once everyone had calmed down, I went to Kroger, leaking tears all the way.  Surprisingly, no one looked twice at my swollen eyes and red nose.  Once I got through the shopping, I sat in my car and ate part of a Hershey bar in completely beautiful silence.  I came home, cried a little more, and went to bed.  (Trevor, by the way, has been nothing but nice about the whole demolition derby thing.  He took charge of getting repair estimates and talking to the insurance company today.  Love that man.)

Today was better.  Both kids napped, and that means I got to nap, too.  Score!!  I pretty much let Dallas take the lead on using the potty.  Yes, there were some accidents, but there were successes, too.  He voluntarily sat on the potty a few times today with good results - pee and poop!  However, there was one potty visit that was more interesting than the rest.  Dallas made a teeny, tiny poop in the potty.  As Lottie and I clapped and cheered and generally made a ruckus, Dallas started to gag and then promptly vomited.  I assume the smell got to him; I don't know.  I tried to explain that going in the big potty would eliminate his need to hork after every BM, but I don't think he was really listening to me.  We'll try that tomorrow.  After all, tomorrow is another day.

I just realized how bizarre and sad it is that I am so psyched about how well today went even though I cleaned up lots of bodily fluids.  I guess it's all about perspective...and a huge bottle of laundry detergent.