An apology

To the parents and families and loved ones and friends of the people killed in the attack in Florida, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that when you said goodbye to your child or spouse or parent yesterday, it was the last time you would see them.

I'm sorry that the last memory you may have is yelling at your child to get moving so he wouldn't miss the bus.

I'm sorry that instead of planning a Valentine's Day dinner, you're planning a funeral.

I'm sorry that the teachers had to use their lockdown training to save lives instead of teaching geometry or history or The Scarlet Letter.

I'm sorry that teenagers and adults alike had to cower in classrooms, closets, hallways, and bathrooms, all the while listening to gunshots and screams of terror and wondering if they were next.

I'm sorry that the people who survived the slaughter will never, ever be the same.

I'm sorry that the many lives lost will never have a chance to be completed.

I'm sorry that the shooter was able to obtain his gun legally.

I"m sorry that all we seem to have to offer you are empty thoughts and prayers.

I'm sorry that the term "yesterday's school shooting" even exists simply because we have to differentiate it from the one that will happen next week or next month.

I'm sorry that Columbine, Pulse, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, and all of the other massacres haven't been enough.

I'm sorry that we have elected officials whose real constituents are dollar bills.

I'm sorry that the biggest elected official urges students who are lost or alone to reach out for help while simultaneously cutting our country's education budget.

I'm sorry that citizens cry that their right to own guns is more important than the right to keep our children safe.

I'm sorry that it's never the right time to talk about gun control.

I'm sorry that absolutely nothing will bring them back.

I'm sorry that we have failed you.

Moms Demand Action
States United to Prevent Gun Violence
The Coalition to Stop Gun Violence
Every town for Gun Safety

Enough

Like the rest of the country, I woke up this morning to the tragic news out of Las Vegas.  I was heartbroken that this had happened once again, but quickly, my heartbreak turned into pure, unadulterated anger.  When will enough be enough?

It wasn't enough after Columbine.
It wasn't enough after Aurora.
It wasn't enough after Fort Hood.
It wasn't enough after San Bernadino.
It wasn't enough after Sandy Hook.
It wasn't enough after Pulse.
It wasn't enough after Charleston.
It wasn't enough after any of the horrific massacres that have happened in the United States because there are basically too many to name.

And last night in Las Vegas, the deadliest mass shooting in the history of our country.  Is that enough for you?    Fifty lives lost.  Over four hundred people injured.  How about that?  Enough?  Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters: people listening to country music.  One night, one minute, and the lives of countless people are forever changed. It *IS* enough. It just is.

Prayer is lovely, don't get me wrong.  But the time for prayer after something this disgustingly appalling is long past.  It's time for action.  I know that people shoot people and guns aren't entirely to blame, but automatic weapons sure make mass murder a hell of a lot easier, don't they?  Those weapons have no place in our society because nothing good can come out of having them. I don't particularly care if you quote the Second Amendment to me because the world today is quite a bit different from when that was written, and everyone knows it.

Use your soul for prayer if that makes you feel whole, but you need to use your brain to make some serious choices about what happens next. If the statistics don't scare you, you're not doing it right, I promise you that.

Research.
Propose new laws.
Run for office.
Vote.
Decide that enough is unequivocally enough.  We are better than this, America; we have to be better than this.

Waiting on the world to change

Four years ago, the unfathomable happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Children and adults who tried to protect them were slaughtered in a place where they should have felt safe, where they should have BEEN safe.  After that horrific day, there have been terrible shootings in San Bernadino, the Navy Yard in D.C., and Orlando just to name a few.  Since Sandy Hook, there have been 186 shootings on school campuses in the U. S.

ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY SIX.

What are we going to do about it?

I don't know.   I don't have all the answers; hell, I don't even have one answer.  One thing I do know, however, is that nothing has changed.  There are still mass shootings and individual shootings and horrific public spectacles of hate.  And what are we doing?

We're arguing about "illegal" emails.  We're arguing about deflated footballs.  We're watching celebrity meltdowns with a gleeful sense of schadenfreude.  We judge people who say "Happy Holidays" and others who say "Merry Christmas." We're blatantly ignoring the fact that maybe something could be done, and we're just not doing it.

Maybe we're all becoming numb when we see the news of yet another shooting and more death and more sorrow.  Perhaps we fall asleep at night thinking about how lucky we are that it wasn't us.  It's always someone else, somewhere else.  Worse yet, there are people who believe it never happened, and Sandy Hook was simply filled with actors playing parts.

This is unacceptable.  It was unacceptable then, and it's certainly unacceptable now.

Now is usually the time when people chime in about the rights of gun owners and the Constitution and, you know, the things.  But I don't care.  I really don't.  What is it the kids say, "Sorry, not sorry"? The victims of Sandy Hook had rights.  Those little ones, 6 and 7 years old, they had rights.  Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness were stolen from them in single, awful moments, so please, don't tell me about your right to be able to shoot whatever you want.

While you're decorating, baking, buying, caroling, and hugging this holiday season, take a moment to think about the families who can't hug their loved ones this year because of a gun.  Really think about it.  Then think about what we need to do to ensure that this won't keep happening. Unless we all decide to make a change, the horror of all of the mass shootings will become just another blurb in the news.  We're better than that; we truly have to be better than that.

On the inside of a kitchen cabinet, I have a list of the victims of Sandy Hook.  It reminds me each and every day to be sure my children know how much they are loved before they get on the school bus and to kiss my husband every single time one of us leaves the house and to let go of the little things in life that are annoying, to be sure, but unimportant.  The list reminds me to live, but it also reminds me that there is work to be done, hard work.   I hope it reminds you, too.

Charlotte Bacon, 6                                            
Chase Kowalski, 6
Daniel Barden, 7                                                
Catherine Hubbard, 6
Noah Pozner, 6                                                  
Josephine Gay, 7
Jack Pinto, 6                                                      
Emilie Parker, 6
Jesse Lewis, 6                                                    
Caroline Previdi, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7                                          
Arielle Richman, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6                                              
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6                                                
Allison Wyatt, 6
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6                                    
Vicki Soto, 27
Madeleine Hsu, 6                                              
Mary Sherlach, 56
Olivia Engel, 6                                                  
Dawn Hochsprung, 47
James Mattioli, 6                                              
Rachel D'avino, 29
Lauren Rousseau, 30                                        
Anne Marie Murphy, 52

Go to Everytown for Gun Safety for more information.