I'm pretty much a rule follower when it comes to all things education. I make my kids do their homework, I help them review for tests, and, of course, attendance is compulsory. I'm not a crazy never-miss-school-so-you-can-get-a-perfect-attendance-award kind of mom, though, mostly because, as a rule follower, I keep my kids home when they're sick.
I know that I'm lucky to be able to be at home with the kids when they're sick. I can look after them, snuggle them, make them soup, or put fresh sheets on the bed so they can rest as much as possible. Not every parent has that availability, and I'm grateful that I do. For example, I followed the rules last week when Lottie woke up nauseous on Monday morning. She didn't have a fever, but no one wants a kid at school who may possibly spew in the middle of class. We followed the BRAT diet, she slept, and we snuggled. She still wasn't feeling one hundred percent the next morning, so I kept her home again for fear of public upchucking. Thankfully, she was much better Wednesday morning, and off to school she went.
Now, here's the issue: make-up work. Sweet baby Jeebus, she has a ton of make-up work. So much so that as I sit typing this on Sunday afternoon, she is still working on math homework with her dad (not me because, well, I don't get it.) She hasn't done much this week after school other than come home and work on make-up work in addition to her regular homework each day. I get it; there is a lot of homework in middle school. And of course she has to make up what she missed while she was gone; I get that, too.
But the thing that all the "keep your kids home when they're sick" messages and memes don't understand is how much work it really ends up being for the sickie. Did you see the meme that made the rounds on social media recently about the mom who kept her kid home from school and all activities due to his fever? If not, here is the link. While I totally agree with Sam's mom, I would hazard to guess that Sam is in preschool or early elementary at the most. Sam's mom doesn't have to crack the whip to make sure the day's homework is getting done along with whatever make-up work needs to also be done. Sam's mom probably isn't helping Sam study for a test he missed while also going over new material he has to learn.
Even though normally Lottie might do just about anything to miss school, I guarantee that she won't want to miss days now, sick or not, because staying home to rest isn't worth it. Although the idea of self care that is being shoved in our faces by every website and magazine and TV ad sounds peachy keen, it's not practical. The problem isn't that the kids are missing school due to illness: the problem is that the stakes are too high for sick kids to miss even one day of school. Missing a day means missing a lot. Although that shows us exactly how much teaching goes into one school day, and it's A LOT, that doesn't mean it makes it any easier to come back into a classroom where everyone has moved on without you. Do I think classes should pause for sick kids? Um, no. Of course not. However, I do think that something needs to give when it comes to the amount of make-up work kids have. I don't know what it is; I have no solution. What I do know is that when everything is given the same weight of importance, then nothing is important. If something has to be important, I would rather it be the kids' all around health rather than the missing lessons. And, to be clear, in no way is this an indictment of Lottie's teachers or any teachers for that matter. It's a hope that as parents, teachers, and human beings, we can distinguish the little stuff from what is truly meaningful.
