Suddenly, you are eighteen.
From the minute I laid eyes on you, I knew that you would
always be someone who did things on his own time. You slept for so long after
you were born (probably because I was on approximately one billion milligrams
of something that made me hallucinate) and all I wanted to do was hold you. I
stared at your sleeping face and wondered who you would be. After that, you
woke up and didn’t sleep again for what felt like years. Again, that wasn’t
your fault; your stomach was upset due to the undiagnosed allergy. Dad and I
took turns sitting in a recliner in the middle of the night to hold you. Even
though we were both exhausted, things didn’t feel so bad when you were
snuggling us.
As you grew, I watched you take in the world. You prefer to study
and learn before jumping into any activity. You are measured, careful, and
insightful, and those are wonderful qualities to have in a world where we
expect things to happen instantly. I appreciate the thought you put into
everything you do. When you were little, you used to sit in the living room and stare at the trees outside. I always wondered what you were thinking about, but I know it was probably something deep every time. You consider all options or sides of a story before making a final decision.
With that thought comes your incredible intelligence. You’re
doing so well at school, and I know you’ll thrive in college. But your smarts
don’t stop with academics. You’re in tune with how people are feeling and what
they need. You have a gentle nature that isn’t seen in many people your age,
and that brings me so much joy. Most external things can be learned throughout
life, but the kindness in you is something that can’t be taught. I’m so proud
of your heart. With that big heart, you have attracted a great group of friends.
I love that you’re comfortable bringing everyone to our place. Hearing you all
laugh in the basement or make midnight kitchen raids is awesome because I know
you’re all safe and having a good time just being yourselves.
Watching you grow this past year has been everything a
parent could wish for. You continue to try new things even when they might be
difficult. You’re committed to Varsity Singers and concert choir, determined to
do everything you can. I know that senior year is going to bring a lot of work
and so many decisions, but I am confident that you will end up exactly where
you should be.
My birthday wish for you is to give yourself some grace.
Life is messy and confusing sometimes, but it can also be full of hope and
promise and delight. Let go of how you think things should be and accept them
for what they are. Is that easy to do? Nope. Most adults don’t know how to do
it. Meet things one at a time as they come; they tend to work themselves out
whether we fret about them or not.
Today marks your first official day of adulthood. My mind understands that, but my heart still sees you as my baby. As Lottie is fond of telling me, soon we won’t have all the eggs in the same basket anymore. As much as I will miss you when you go off to school next summer, I know you’re ready. I hope you always know that Dad and I will be here when you need us. I am so proud of the man you’re becoming each and every day. Being your mom is the best thing I have ever done.
You’re my best boy, and I love you so,
Mom
